So Much to Write about but I'd Rather Cry~

I arrived back up In Apple Valley with Devon around 2 pm Tuesday, the day of my last post. Frank passed at 4 pm that day, just two hours after we arrived. I was the only one who saw him breath his last breath.
I offered to stay another day to help wherever I could. When we went to the mortuary the next day, Wednesday, my sister's asked me to be the officiant/minister of the funeral service.
I came back to Hemet late Thursday wracked by weathering the tensions and the empathic emotions. I had a full and challenging following week, went back to Apple Valley for the service Friday the 16th and it all went very well, it was very touching and a beautiful tribute to Frank. My mom and I stayed until Sunday evening and returned home.
I am giving you the summary of facts because I have to start somewhere and the last two weeks have been so packed with happenings, interactions and emotions I can't even believe it myself.
So I have been back at my mother's for five days now and every day has been full. I feel like I just don't get enough sleep even when I do. Just now it's only 9:20 pm and my eyes have been burning for hours. Earlier tonight I went to the bank to make a deposit, and then to stop for a few things at the Grocery outlet. As I was getting out of the vehicle to go inside I felt the most profound sadness. I felt like sobbing. What is it about shopping? This happens to me frequently. It's something about going through the motions of a normal life and yet being so alone.
Anyway, I just feel like sobbing and sobbing. I hardly ever can anymore you know, because I have no privacy. I used to be able to stretch out on the floor in my living room on my throw blanket with a pillow and sob and hold my kitty or multiple kitties and cry as much as I wanted to, until the tears ran dry.
Well, that's it for now~
I have much to share about all that has come to pass.
Also I haven't finished the Judas story. That will have to wait awhile. There is so much that has just happened in these two weeks with my siblings father's death, my relationship with my sisters, my living situation oh my gosh~
So for now, Sweet Dreams to you all~